Life Lessons From a Four Year Old

As I mentioned in my Priorities blog, I have been taking care of a four year old nearly every day since I came back from France. I’m pretty sure he has ADHD, and he definitely hasn’t been fooled with as much as he should have been.

At any rate, while I have been watching him, he has taken me through a larger range of emotions than most adults ever will.

• Omitting letters, misusing pronouns, and pervasive use of double negatives is acceptable and endearing. “Why didn’t him not did that???”
• All names should be considered brackets/parentheses: “Daddy, can I jump off the balcony, Daddy?”
• Foreign languages do NOT exist: “Talk like me! Talk correctly! *indignant 4 year old sound* Talk RIGHT!”
• At one time, we were all reporters. “Why? When? HOW?…Why?”
• Clean clothes are evil and must be punished.
• The ability to vanish is an art.
• Crime is worth the punishment.
• Your mouth and the area around it must be filthy after eating. If not, you are impolite.
• Leaving half of your food untouched is OK.
• Whether you eat everything or nothing, you will still get a bellyache.
• The classification of certain foods according to different mealtimes is equally as fabricated as the concept of time.
• Soccer is a game where using your feet is against the rules.
• Catching doesn’t require catching, reading doesn’t require reading, and sleeping DEFINITELY doesn’t require sleeping.
• Making sure somebody is always there to catch you is optional. Come what may, it is better to believe in yourself and take the plunge than to have never tried at all.