After years of dodging the inevitable responsibilities of growing up, coupled with our neuroses (no, we didn’t use a “point” system, but I admit our kid didn’t get as much credit for NOT screwing up as he should have), AND a terrible educational system, he suddenly realized how much he had to do to catch up.

He’s freaking out now, but I’m giving him links to your site and all the great advice & hope he reads it all. Thanks!

But remember young ‘uns: no matter how responsible and grown-up you are, [most] parents will STILL see you, in some dark corner of their minds, hopefully, as that diaper-clad kid on the floor, staring at a ladybug!

I want to “prove” myself but I don’t want ot sacrifice what makes me me. I enjoy alcohol in moderation and here you are telling me that if my parents didn’t I should give it up (they do but thats beside the point). There’s a fine line between “proving yourself to your parents” and “being a kiss up”.

How did your parents create just an oustanding, independent young man? I raised Patrick and I can tell you, he is an independent young man that understands the meaning of hard work and respect. He is in no way undermining anyone by talking about parents evaluating their children. His symbolism of the point system is merely a way to explain how we, as parents, see things. All parents have a way to gauge their expectations of their children. Some have better gauges than others because the expectations are different. No, all children are not the same and we can’t put them in a mold…..but guess what, this world is going to be the same for all of them. Competition for jobs, especially in today’s world. If you don’t learn how to play the game of life, and yes it is a game, you will lose. Independence is the only way you will win. By winning I mean being able to support yourself and your family. All parents understand this expectation and try to help develop this within their child.

If you are a business man, then you must understand that you have a criteria for each employee you hire. If not, you would hire anyone that applies. Criteria, point systems, whatever you use for whatever you do…there are expectations i all walks of life and I believe that is what Patrick is trying to convey. I can assure you that he walks the talk and he has rose to my expectations and I am very proud of him. I can guarantee you that he is NOT a brown noser. He has always stood for what he believes in and does what he needs to, even though at times it was against my wishes. You judge, everyone judges…it is human nature and if anyone falls below your line of integrity, it has to lower your regards toward that person.

Ben, the usage of the point system analogy is designed to make the inner-workings of the human decision-making process as tangible as possible.

You can’t tell me that if one of your employees royally screws up your subconscious mind doesn’t lower this individual’s “ranking”.